Yeah I suck, okay?
October 26, 2004 
7:01 am
I suck. I admit it. I don't update, I don't go to Curves, and I'm back up to 250lbs according to the WW scale in the kitchen.
Yep. It's official. I suck.
I keep trying to tell myself that I really like my local Curves, but I don't. I hate it. The trainers are always the same two people. One sits behind the desk and doesn't move off her skinny ass. The other one slouches in the middle of the workout circle and either pretends I don't exist, or talks with anyone but me.
People around me do the exercises completely wrong, and neither "trainer" ever says a word. Not even when people injure themselves by doing the wrong thing! Becca just sits, and Kim slouches. That's it.
I don't feel motivated to go. I really, really hate it. So I haven't been going, and Jay hasn't been making me.
So, I've decided to change my gym. We aren't staying in midtown forever anyway, so I'm going to check out the Curves in Smyrna and Marietta, preferably near a couple of bookcafes that I like to go to, or near a couple parks. It'll be good for me to get out of the house and REALLY good for me to exercise, but even better for me to be in an environment where I feel valued and noticed. And I'm going to tell BeccaKim WHY I'm leaving, and I'm going to tell the new gym I pick what I expect.
So yeah, I suck. But you know, I'm still gorgeous. ;) I have a fabulous new haircut and I've figured out a new trick with "eye-brightener" that really makes my eyes (my best facial feature) stand out. I still drive my husband wild with lust, and hey! I still look cute in all my clothes. But I also suck, hah!
Oh, Jay told me yesterday that he had a dream about me, but in the dream I was at my goal-weight. Apparently in the dream, I was talking to another man, and Jay was getting jealous: "What are you talking to him for? You're my wife! Mine!" Hehe!! He said I looked beautiful, curvy, and still had a great ass. I love my husband.
But I still suck. Mea culpa!
