In Love
February 22, 2004 
9:50 pm
So. I met the most amazing guy.
It's not the same guy as I mentioned here. That guy... well, I mentioned there were Issues, but I finally got sick of said Issues and gave up hope of there ever being anything other than a mild flirtation between us. And wouldn't you know it, but only a couple weeks afterwards, I met J.
J is 30 (turning 31 in early March), is dark haired and dark eyed, is working on his PhD, and is I think possibly the sweetest man on Earth. He's generous, caring, courteous, chivalrous, and genuinely tries never to say a bad thing about anyone. He's shy and quiet, with an incredibly quick, intelligent mind. He makes me laugh so easily.
Did I mention he is attractive? The man is HOT. He's short-- only 5'3ish, but that's fine with me because I'm only 5'1. He's got a fantastic body... lithe and flexible, muscled without being cut... trim waist and tight butt and ohmigod he's fuzzy. Like a soft, cuddly teddy bear.
I'm smitten. I can't believe it's happening to me, but I'm floating. And I think he's good for my health, because pants that I bought on Friday for this weekend are now too big! I guess the experts are right when they say that sex burns calories. ;)
I will say this, though: I have never felt ashamed of my body, until now. But with J's help, the shame passed. I am, after all, working to make myself better-- and he knows this. He's honest but gentle, and just by acknowledging my issue and accepting it, is helping nudge me along a better path. I want to make more of an effort now, because he is here to watch my successes. I want to stick to and achieve my goal of 120 lbs by Jan 24, 2005 because he will be there with me when I reach it.
Speaking of which: on Wednesday the gym scale said 228.5!! And today at home the evil-bad lying scale said 227, which is just fantastic because the one at the gym always weighs lighter. I will get to Onederland before the end of the school year (My 19th), just you wait!!!
Oh, I'm in love. I want to dance.
