The Disclaimer
August 04, 2003 
8:50 am
I read in someone's diary recently (and forgive me, I don't remember whose) that the author didn't believe healthy, positive people just were - she believed that anyone who preferred eating salads or running all the time was either lying or had forced themselves into believing it.
I don't have an issue with her having that opinion, or with her writing it in her diary. That's what diaries are for, right? But I'd like to say that in MY opinion, she's wrong.
A lot of people think losing weight has to be painful. That it has to be partly a soul-searching, self-esteem killing, eye-opening journey to find yourself. That it can't possibly be fun or challenging.
I don't believe that is always the case.
I learned the hard lesson not too long ago that I always have two choices when I'm faced with a life-problem: I can choose to accept it and make the most of it, or I can choose to let it depress me and oppress me until the problem becomes as large as a mountain looming over my head. Losing weight is my problem. It does not have to be a mountain of a problem unless I let it become one.
I've decided that this is going to be a challenge. It's going to be me versus myself, and it's a no-lose situation. Even if I can't keep up with losing 10 lbs a month, I'll still lose a little. And if I don't lose, then I'll have learned what doesn't work, and can use that information to formulate a better plan. This is a learning and growing experience for me, and I intend to learn and grow.
That isn't to say I don't have some issues buried somewhere inside that will come to light. But I know that the two main reasons I have gotten as fat as I am now are 1) unlucky genes, and 2) a genuine liking of myself as I am. Why bother to lose weight when I like myself just fine as a fat person?
The reason I am losing weight now is because I want to. I want to wear cuter clothes and date cuter boys and wear cuter lingerie. I want to see what it's like on the other side of the fence.
So if you're looking for a diet diary with entries about angst and self-loathing over a couple of candybars, don't look here. I don't play it that way. I'm doing this at my own pace, in my own way, and I will get to my goal in my own time. And I will smile the whole damn way, because life is beautiful.
And now it's off to the gym. :)
